well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
