people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
