well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
