he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
