We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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