Your tits are I can't wait for
he puts the penis in happiness.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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