Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
