i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
