Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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