Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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