Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
