i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
