I think I am morally bankrupt
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
