Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
