I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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