in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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