as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize