wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
