I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
