He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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