we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
