i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
