The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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