i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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