And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
