I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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