I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
high people should be assigned attendants
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize