i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
