first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
