I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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