I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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