after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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