After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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