6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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