Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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