I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
