Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
