I could have mohawked her pubes.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I forget how to act sober
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
