i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
