why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
