Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Are we still banned from the library?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Drake has all the answers
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize