so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
