Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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