I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
