What did we do last night that was yellow?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
