OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
