I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
