Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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