week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
