ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
