I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize