what day is it and did you see me today?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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