Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You have to summon your inner elephant
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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