Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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