Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
