I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
