found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I need moral support for this bender
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
