You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
