mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
