people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
