Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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