before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize