I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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