Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
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