bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
