Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
