It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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