i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
