Barsexuality is the new black.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
