She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize