i just had sex bonerless
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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