he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Come share oat with me in your robe
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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