Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize