We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize