Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
