I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
