tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
