You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
