wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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