two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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