Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
