Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
