u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
why is half of my head shaved?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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