ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize