the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
